I really wanna talk about The Pregnancy Project from Lifetime Channel. Here is a brief summary about what the movies is about from the Lifetime Movie website.
"In The Pregnancy Project, Gaby Rodriguez (Vega) is the brave 18-year-old high school student who forces her school and community to confront its prejudices and preconceptions about teen pregnancy — and makes national headlines in the process. The story begins with Gaby deciding that her senior project will be on stereotyping, which she decides to experience firsthand. Confiding in her mother Juana (Reyes), her boyfriend Jorge (Walter Perez) and a handful of others, Gaby begins her social experiment in which she tells her friends, family and teachers that she is pregnant. While her fake baby bump continues to grow over the next six and a half months, Gaby carefully records how she is treated and what is being said about her — for better and for worse — both in and out of school. With her project’s findings conclusive, Gaby emotionally addresses her fellow students and their teachers about stereotyping and teen pregnancy during a special school assembly and then shocks them by ripping off her padded “baby bump,” revealing she was never pregnant at all and teaching them a valuable lesson."
I came across the movie trailer a couple of days ago and immediately had an urge to watch it. Oh boy , it had me tearing up every second of the movie. Everything she felt and experienced, I'm feeling and experiencing myself. She might have not been pregnant for reals but it still affected her. I'm not mad at her for doing this social experiment about how people stereotype pregnant teenage girls including myself because I know people talked about me. In fact, yesterday a "good" friend actually said it was okay of me to say my child was a mistake even if that person says it's not what he meant. It hurt bad because other people who don't know me actually judge me for getting pregnant at eighteen and calling my child a mistake.
I'm starting to get emotional about my pregnancy. Need a moment....
The movie just brought up all these emotions includig flashbacks, I've been hidding from everyone including my own mother. When Gaby told her mom and boyfriend she was gonna fake her pregnancy, I instantly remembered when I found out I was pregnant. The day was August 7, 2011 around 11:20 to 11:30 am in Primo's restrooms , a fast-food resturant, with my cousins inside there.I cried my eyes out as I thought about my parents, grandparents and school. I felt so disappointed/ashamed of myself because I was always saying how it was never gonna happen to me since I considered myself "smart."
In the movie, people instantly started talking behind her back and her family was disappointed in her. *flashback* I told my mom the following day after peeing on two other sticks and coming out positive. It was so hard to tell her but I needed my mom's reassurance of everything was gonna be okay if it was truely positive.I went to a Planned Parenthood clinic on Vermont Ave. in Los Angeles. I signed some papers, and waited to be called in. I felt like time was moving slowly while I waited. This nurse called me in, told me to pee in a cup then made me wait in a room. Seriously, time was moving slow. Afterwards, a male nurse came inside to tell me, I was indeed pregnant and 6 weeks and 5 days along. Oh! The disappointment/ shame I felt when he told me.
My mom thought I was joking at first but she realized I wasn't. Typical, she started questioning me like a police officer but she reassured me everything was going to be okay. She's now all anxious for Sophia to get here. My dad found out by my mom since they are in Arizona. Unlike my mom, he actually had the nerve to imply I can have an abortion. I was so pissed because I never expected that from him since he was raised by a very catholic father and mother. Then again, it never crossed my mind because I know I would not be able to handle the guilt of killing my own child. My own saying for abortion is "if your conscious is gonna be guilt free, go ahead and have an abortion but if you know you wont then don't even do it." My friends were all shocked like the rest of the people I knew or don't know. Thier reaction was also important but am glad, they were/ are still supporting me all the way.
Even though Gaby wasn't pregnant, she felt bad just like I did and sometimes do. It's not like I got pregnant on purpose. I honestly made a mistake by not using a condom and trusting the morning after-pill but now I know I'm that eleven percent of women that still can get pregnant. Do I regret my child? No because for some odd reason god/destiny wanted me to get pregnant now. My previous future plans was get my fashion design degree, career, maybe marriage then have kids or not get married and adopt a kid. It was never have a baby at eighteen especially be a single mother and move back in with her mother while she waits for the baby to be born. I'll talk about baby daddy on another post, sometime this week or next maybe next next? Like I said before, I thought this would never happen to me because I myself would stereotype other pregnant girls but not to the extent of saying there life is not over. Any teenage mother can get thier G.E.D or finish high school then go to college and have a job while in college to have a better future. It's gonna be hard but that child is gonna be the reason for them to accomplish that goal.
I know some people we're/are saying I'm stupid, killed my future, another statistic...etc but there opinion doesn't matter. They're stereotyping someone who they don't truely know. Gaby made an excellent point on how life doesn't end because your pregnant but make it feel even more valuable to fight for. I guess I'm trying to say that even though I am pregnant, it's not gonna stop me from accomplishing every goal I have set up for myself. Yes, I know I wont be able to do some stuff I wanted to do like a non-pregnant eighteen year old but it's okay my life is not gonna end. I wanna go back to my high school reunion and be proud I finished my fashion deisgn career while raising a child. I'm going to make every person, who told me I wouldn't accomplish my goals, eat thier words. Just watch me!
It's almost one o clock in the morning, Arizona time, so I'm gonna go to bed. I feel so much better for blogging about this. I know for a fact, I'll start blogging again. It's funny how my blog went from my teenage/ "fashion" life to pregnant life. Au Revoir!
P.S. I love my child with all my heart! I'm happy I stuck to my decision of keeping her. She is a blessing from god who I will always be grateful. God has given me a chance to be a mother since many women can't. Even though, I'm young, I fully understand how there are gonna be moments when it gets hard but no matter what I will try to mak it better for both of us. She is gonna make me a better person in so many ways that some people will not.
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